organic, but stupid

Last night was an organic extravaganza of lameness. Organic chips, Organic Pace salsa (it was the only organic salsa in the behemoth mega-corporate Fred Meyers that I walked to) and Organic beer, that was on sale. Oh and then later I got the organic American Spirits. The only smart thing I did last night was delete a bunch of people's numbers on my phone early in the night, it must have been the Holy Spirit that took over my body for a short time to do that, because later I was looking for those numbers that were gone. Sorry to those that didn't make the cut.

SNL had a "remembering Chris Farley" show followed by the episode with the legendary "Dick in a Box" short, so I laughed a couple times at least. I probably would have laughed without the alcohol in my system, so the night was a complete waste. Ive been trying to quit alcohol and tobacco for a long time, I'm well aware of how they are major obstacles (an understatement) to the Buddhist path. I even got a tattoo that says "Stay Sober" in mirrored letters so Ill read it every day. I got a great book (a gift), "Mindful Recovery" too (that I havent finished yet). Tobacco and Alcohol are disempowering physically, mentally and socio-politically, serving the status-quo through disengaged belligerence. Being drunk and smoking cigarettes and watching TV is pretty much the opposite of being a vegan body builder/Buddhist/activist, which I'd much rather be, because that's a much better way to live for many reasons. So, therefore, last night I was a human manifestation of wackness.

Ive become an expert on how best to live, I just haven't been able to live based on the knowledge I've gained. Because I'm stupid sometimes. Well pretty often actually. Huh. Is this Self-Realization? :)

Well it's not all stupidity, some things tend to encourage unhealthy behavior.
Jimi speaks perfectly for me again to explain, (I think I might have been him in my last life. I suck at the guitar though, so that goes to show that skill doesn't necessarily carry over from life to life. Or that I wasn't Jimi Hendrix.) :

There's nothing left here to greet me
But the velvet moon
All my loneliness
I have felt today
It's a little more than enough
To make a man throw himself away
And i continue
To burn the midnight lamp
Alone

Facing coldly toward the door
And i continue
To burn the midnight lamp
All alone

Lonely lonely, yeah
Lonely lonely lonely
Loneliness is such a, drag